DEAR ABBY: Boyfriend’s behaviour pushes woman’s boundaries

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DEAR ABBY: I’ve been with my live-in boyfriend for eight years. Over the past 5 months, he has began staying out till daylight, selecting his pals over me, snapping at me when he talks in any respect and doesn’t wish to be round me. We’ve at all times gone in every single place collectively and shared our friendships with one another. There’s an age hole of 16 years, but it surely has by no means been an issue.

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I left for a month final yr once I caught him speaking to a different girl via messaging (not platonic speak). That month I did numerous soul-searching and set boundaries I’ll now not enable to be damaged. Due to previous failed relationships, I’ve discovered tips on how to get up and voice my opinion and take care of myself emotionally. I assume my query is, ought to I be involved, preserve making an attempt to speak my emotions to him or transfer on with my life? I at all times put him forward of anybody aside from my youngsters and God, however he doesn’t give me the identical respect. — LOST FOR ANSWERS IN ARKANSAS

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DEAR LOST: Is your boyfriend the one who is 16 years youthful? I ask as a result of his behaviour is definitely immature. In mild of what you could have written, it needs to be clear to you that he’s now not as dedicated to your relationship as you could have been. You said that you’ve established boundaries that you’ll now not enable to be damaged. GOOD FOR YOU. It’s time to REESTABLISH them as a result of the therapy you could have been receiving will not be solely disrespectful, but in addition merciless. You could have devoted years to the connection, however from my perspective, you could have invested sufficient. Inform him you’ll be able to see that he’s not blissful and ASK him if he needs to interrupt up. I’ve a powerful feeling that the reply shall be sure.

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DEAR ABBY: I’m a 20-year-old homosexual man. I just lately began a brand new job wherein I assumed I’d be changing an growing old co-worker who is meant to be retiring “in a yr.” Each time I’ve talked about something to her about her retiring, she has corrected me, saying she’s solely going to chop again to a day or two every week. After I was employed, I used to be informed she’d be gone in a month. I’m uncomfortable as a result of she is politically conservative, deeply spiritual and typically moody, which makes her troublesome to be round.

I’ve saved my mouth shut since I’ve been right here solely a month, whereas she has been right here greater than 20 years. I just lately discovered two different folks had been employed for my position earlier than I used to be, and each stop inside six months. Ought to I keep and wait it out or observe the potential for happiness elsewhere? — HOT AND BOTHERED IN INDIANA

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DEAR HOT AND BOTHERED: Discuss together with your employer in regards to the circumstances beneath which you have been employed. You have been informed you’ll change this girl and she or he’d be gone in a single month. Train just a little endurance for one more month or so and, if she’s nonetheless there, ask your employer if one thing has modified as a result of she’s telling you she’s not quitting. You deserve a straight reply if circumstances have modified. If that’s the case and the job is now not what you thought it was going to be, then “observe the potential for happiness elsewhere” AFTER you could have discovered a brand new job.

— Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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