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DEAR ABBY: I’ve been with my husband, “Harry,” for 10 years, married for 4, and already I’d like a divorce. We’ve two babies. I’m a stay-at-home mother whereas he works and pays the payments.
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The issue is, he feels that as a result of he works, he doesn’t must do the rest. He doesn’t assist round the home, assist with the youngsters, spend time with us, nothing! I solely ask that he do these items on his days off, however his days off are reserved strictly for himself.
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Some days I might use a hand with our kids. Whereas I’m doing completely every thing, he simply sits appearing like he doesn’t hear or see what’s happening in entrance of him. Even after seeing me turning into overwhelmed and annoyed, he received’t assist me.
I’ve had a thousand conversations with him about stepping up extra when he’s residence, but it surely goes in a single ear and out the opposite. I’d slightly be single than have him simply sit round when he’s residence as a result of “he pays for every thing.” Am I improper to really feel this manner? I need assistance. — OUT OF BALANCE IN NORTH CAROLINA
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DEAR OUT OF BALANCE: Provide your husband a selection. Both the 2 of you speak with a wedding and household therapist to assist rid him of his selective deafness, otherwise you rent somebody to assist with the heavier chores he’s unwilling to do. If he balks, remind him that you understand he’s uninterested in your nagging and it will be cheaper than a divorce.
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DEAR ABBY: I’ve been with my spouse for 23 years, married 19 of them. We’ve two grown youngsters, ages 22 and 20. I just lately realized she’s nonetheless in love with the man she dated simply earlier than me. How did I discover out? Nicely, sooner or later my spouse and I had been watching a TV present collectively, and out of nowhere, she requested me my opinion on open marriages.
I gave her a imprecise reply and began investigating why she requested me that query. That’s once I found textual content messages, telephone calls and her diary for the final 9 months. So far as I can inform, they haven’t had intercourse but, however she desires to. I didn’t confront her about it. I felt dangerous for invading her privateness, however then once more, she was being sneaky. I have to know if I ought to keep or go. — UNCOVERED IN PENNSYLVANIA
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DEAR UNCOVERED: Copy these texts and her diary. Then have a chat together with your spouse and ask her why she requested about your emotions on open marriage, as a result of it was out of character. After she solutions, say you’ve been serious about her query and STRONGLY really feel your marriage needs to be monogamous. THEN inform her you’ve seen the calls, texts and diary, and if she desires to have intercourse along with her previous boyfriend, you’ll file for divorce.
DEAR READERS: Time flies! Daylight saving time ends at 2 a.m. Sunday. Don’t overlook to show your clocks again one hour at bedtime tonight. Whilst you’re at it, make sure you put contemporary batteries in your carbon monoxide and smoke detectors. — LOVE, ABBY
— Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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